"You more to me than you know, Effy" he said, slowly, shaking her hand slowly, his tired eyes fixed on hers. It took all his will power to let her hand go, he feared that maybe that would be the last time he would feel his skin against hers. He balled the hand into a fist and dropped it to his side, his face twisted with concentration, a failure at an attempt to appear okay with the fact that they weren’t going to be Effy and Freddie again, that they would remain separate, and that everything had changed forever.
"What did you do— while you were gone?" he asked, trying to slip into normal conversation with her despite his need to scream how much he wanted her back. Love had been nearly as bad for him as it had been for her, he just was less self aware.
Fingers lock over hers and his words bring blue eyes to flicker downwards and away for a moment, before pulling a small, sad smile. “Likewise.” And it was true—— Freddie was imprinted into her life and had left a brand there at the back of her mind; wasn’t much of anything she could ever do to erase him. And maybe that was what love was like—— maybe you weren’t supposed to erase them away, even when you try your damnedest to break free out of fear.
Hand dropping to her side as well, Effy moved to then cross both arms over her chest, before answering with a light shrug and pursing of her lips. “While I was gone—- I kept to myself. I spent nights looking out the windows and sitting alone on the balcony; thinking over things. It makes it easier when no one knows who you are and some don’t even speak the same language as you.” Shaking her head, Effy let a small sigh escape through ivory teeth; craving a cigarette to ease her nerves. “And you—- you’re….. you okay?” She asked, nodding towards the crutches as guilt settled in over the bow of her shoulders—- threatening to suffocate.
You’re a big girl. Go out and party on your own. You’re only lonely at your flat because I’m not there.
How very lonely. Yeah, yeah—— whatever.
Hahah, that I can Eff. Its a shame.
Maybe you just need some new faces. Y’know—- out with the old and in with the new; it’s very good advice.
A road trip? Sounds a lot more exciting than Bristol has been as of late.
We all need to get away a bit, I think. Could do us some good.
Just to clarify.
Good luck ever finding a decent ‘man’ here. I’m sure you
can attest to the fact that most all of them are boys.